Thesaurus entry; sadness

Sadness is the wonderful emotion that helps
you let go of things that aren’t working
anyway. Most of us avoid sadness as if it is
the thing that created the loss in the first
place. It isn’t. In its healthy sate, sadness is
evoked by the fact that you need to let go of
something. Listening to sadness can help you
let go of things that don’t work so that you
can make room for things that do.
The internal questions to ask for sadness are:
What must be released? and What must be
rejuvenated? Remember to ask both
questions; sadness is not just about loss.
Sadness clears away things that don’t work
so that you can make changes in your life
and make room for things that do work.
Let’s organize some vocabulary to help you
welcome the gifts that sadness brings you. I separate sadness into Sadness,
Despair, Despondence, Grief, and
Depression. These categories are reorganized
here under the general category of Sadness.
Soft Sadness
Regretful ~ Disappointed ~ Disconnected
~ Distracted ~ Low ~ Listless ~ Wistful
Mood State Sadness
Sad ~ World-weary ~ Down ~ Melancholy
~ Mournful ~ Weepy ~ Grieving ~ Gloomy
~ Dejected ~ Downtrodden ~ Heavy-
hearted ~ Forlorn ~ Sorrowful ~
Dispirited ~ Discouraged ~ Drained
Intense Sadness
Despairing ~ Bleak ~ Despondent ~
Depressed ~ Anguished ~ Inconsolable ~
Grief-stricken ~ Hopeless ~ Heartbroken
~ Morose ~ Bereaved
If you’re in intense sadness, or if your mood-
state sadness is continuous and repetitive
(and doesn’t respond to a good cry), it’s
important to check in with your doctor or
therapist. Sadness has a powerful physical
component that drops you downward — and
if it stays activated for too long, it can
interfere with sleep, eating, and your
hormonal regulation — which then leads to
more sadness and more disregulation. Just
as it is with any other emotion, sadness
shouldn’t hang around forever. It should do
its job and move onward. If it doesn’t, and
you’re in a constant sadness feedback loop,
please seek help.
Note for the grieving: Though grief is
different from sadness, I’m including it here
for ease of categorization. However, it is
quite normal (and healthy) for grief to last a
much longer time than simple sadness. This
is because grief arises not merely when you
need to let something go — grief arises when
you have no choice about letting go, and
when you’re losing something over which
you have no control. Grieving is a slow and
languid process that takes its own time.
If you’re grieving, contact your local hospice
agency for grief support. There, you’ll find support for your grieving process, and you won’t be hurried or shamed out of your honest emotions. Grieving is a
vitally important process — it’s not the
opposite of happiness — and it takes its own
time.