Muse Guide

Writers tutorial entry; how to make your dialogue sparkle

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One sign of a fine cabinetmaker, I’m told, is the 
deftness with which he handles his nails. 
"Of course," he added, quickly "the finest 
cabinetmakers are often female." 
To resume my metaphor... each nail should do 
its job without calling attention to itself. The 
same might also be said about the dialogue 
tags we use when writing fiction. (For example, 
'he added, quickly’.) 
Technically called ‘inquits’ or ‘turn ancillaries’, 
dialogue tags act as stage directions to convey 
to the reader, perhaps subconsciously, who is 
speaking and - sometimes - in what mood or 
manner. 
The modern convention is that inquits should 
be invisible, like carpentry nails. To decorate 
our dialogue with colourful tags like ‘he 
snortled’, ‘she chortled’, ‘they fumed’, (or worse, 
'she beamed'), is perceived today as clumsy. 
The reader trips over them and falls out of the 
story. 
True, florid tags can be used to good effect 
when writing comedy or farce. ('"Yes, no, 
maybe. Who knows?" he verbigerated in 
despair’). But if you don’t intend to be funny - 
or the humour doesn’t work - the reader will 
yearn to hide your thesaurus. 
Solution #1 : 
Don’t use dialogue tags at all if it’s obvious 
from the context who’s speaking. If it’s not 
obvious, a volley of innocuous inquits like ‘he 
said’, ‘she said’, and the like, may be forgiven. 
They're stage directions, supposed to be 
invisible. But they’re boring. Sometimes, you do 
need to convey the manner in which a 
character speaks, and without using too many 
adverbs - the sign of an amateur. So... 
Solution #2: 
Characterise the speaker, and mark who’s 
speaking, by using a variation of the Pathetic 
Fallacy. This is the poetic device of granting 
human emotions to non-human phenomena or 
objects. It’s also a nifty little trick when writing 
dialogue. 
NOT: ‘"Sir, you insult me," he glowered.’ 
Properly speaking, ‘glower’ cannot be used as a 
verb for a speech act. (We’ve all done this, and 
worse, but - if overdone - it becomes hilarious.) 
INSTEAD: "‘Sir, you insult me!" His eyebrows 
lifted with menace.’ OR ‘The shadows darkened 
in his face.’ OR ‘The room grew cold.’ OR 
‘Thunder crackled in the hills. The storm was 
growing closer.’ 
It is now clear from the obliging behaviour of 
the environment both who is speaking and in 
what manner. The Pathetic Fallacy has come to 
our rescue. 
Solution #3 : Let characters convey their moods 
with actions not with adverbs . 
NOT: ‘"That is very foolish," she said, 
reprovingly.’ 
INSTEAD: ‘"That is very foolish." She made a 
close inspection of her fingertips.’ OR ‘She 
clicked her ballpoint pen.’ OR ‘She bit her 
finger-roll in half.’ 
We have now replaced the adverb 'reprovingly' 
with action. The scene has acquired energy - 
plus a little extra characterisation. 
Use this device too often, however, and readers 
will cry ‘How well s/he writes!’ rather than 
‘what a good story!’. No matter. A story, so 
grossly over-written, might win the Booker 
prize... 
(Even if it's unlikely to win a story 
competition.) 
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Writers tutorial entry; how to make your dialogue sparkle

One sign of a fine cabinetmaker, I’m told, is the deftness with which he handles his nails. "Of course," he added, quickly "the finest cabinetmakers are often female." To resume my metaphor... each n…

10 Dec 2013

Writers tutorial entry; how to make your dialogue sparkle

One sign of a fine cabinetmaker, I’m told, is the deftness with which he handles his nails. 
"Of course," he added, quickly "the finest cabinetmakers are often female." 
To resume my metaphor... each nail should do 
its job without calling attention to itself. The same might also be said about the dialogue tags we use when writing fiction. (For example, 
'he added, quickly’.) 
Technically called ‘inquits’ or ‘turn ancillaries’, dialogue tags act as stage directions to convey to the reader, perhaps subconsciously, who is speaking and - sometimes - in what mood or manner. 
The modern convention is that inquits should be invisible, like carpentry nails. To decorate our dialogue with colourful tags like ‘he 
snortled’, ‘she chortled’, ‘they fumed’, (or worse, 'she beamed'), is perceived today as clumsy. 
The reader trips over them and falls out of the story. 
True, florid tags can be used to good effect when writing comedy or farce. ('"Yes, no, maybe. Who knows?" he verbigerated in despair’). But if you don’t intend to be funny - or the humour doesn’t work - the reader will yearn to hide your thesaurus. 
Solution #1 : 
Don’t use dialogue tags at all if it’s obvious from the context who’s speaking. If it’s not obvious, a volley of innocuous inquits like ‘he said’, ‘she said’, and the like, may be forgiven. 
They're stage directions, supposed to be invisible. But they’re boring. Sometimes, you do need to convey the manner in which a character speaks, and without using too many 
adverbs - the sign of an amateur. So... 
Solution #2: 
Characterise the speaker, and mark who’s speaking, by using a variation of the Pathetic 
Fallacy. This is the poetic device of granting 
human emotions to non-human phenomena or 
objects. It’s also a nifty little trick when writing 
dialogue. 
NOT: ‘"Sir, you insult me," he glowered.’ 
Properly speaking, ‘glower’ cannot be used as a 
verb for a speech act. (We’ve all done this, and 
worse, but - if overdone - it becomes hilarious.) 
INSTEAD: "‘Sir, you insult me!" His eyebrows 
lifted with menace.’ OR ‘The shadows darkened 
in his face.’ OR ‘The room grew cold.’ OR 
‘Thunder crackled in the hills. The storm was 
growing closer.’ 
It is now clear from the obliging behaviour of 
the environment both who is speaking and in 
what manner. The Pathetic Fallacy has come to 
our rescue. 
Solution #3 : Let characters convey their moods 
with actions not with adverbs . 
NOT: ‘"That is very foolish," she said, 
reprovingly.’ 
INSTEAD: ‘"That is very foolish." She made a 
close inspection of her fingertips.’ OR ‘She 
clicked her ballpoint pen.’ OR ‘She bit her 
finger-roll in half.’ 
We have now replaced the adverb 'reprovingly' 
with action. The scene has acquired energy - 
plus a little extra characterisation. 
Use this device too often, however, and readers 
will cry ‘How well s/he writes!’ rather than 
‘what a good story!’. No matter. A story, so 
grossly over-written, might win the Booker 
prize... 
(Even if it's unlikely to win a story 
competition.)

Writers tutorial entry; how to make your dialogue sparkle

10 Dec 2013

Writers tutorial entry; how to make your character more plausible

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Encouraging an emotional bond between a 
reader and the protagonist is one of the most 
important jobs a writer has. We do this through 
empathy - a deep, meaningful connection that 
forms when we put the reader into the 
character’s emotional shoes. Many writers 
struggle with how to do this, because it usually 
means showing the character’s vulnerability . 
This can be a tall order if one has a tough 
character who equates emotions with 
weakness, because their hard shell prevents 
anyone (including the reader) from getting 
close. 
As people, we connect to vulnerability. It makes 
us feel that we are glimpsing at what lies 
behind the mask a person wears day -to-day, 
and seeing into the heart of who they truly are. 
So making sure our characters experience 
vulnerability, no matter how tough, how jaded, 
how determined they are to hide what they feel, 
is incredibly important. 
The problem is, most people don’t like feeling 
vulnerable. In fact they protect themselves 
against it, and avoid it at all costs. This leaves 
writers with a conundrum: how do they show 
their character in a vulnerable light to help 
create that closeness with the reader, yet stay 
true to authentic human behavior? The answer 
lies in understanding universal triggers for 
vulnerability, and then placing the protagonist 
in the path of one. 
Here are some ways to make your character feel 
- and appear - vulnerable, whether they want to 
or not: 
Through not knowing what will happen next. 
People crave control, of having power over 
what the future will bring. Take that away and 
you are left with the feeling of not knowing, of 
having no influence or say in the outcome. By 
placing the power in another’s hands through 
choices, actions and decisions, you rob your 
character of control. The resulting feelings of 
frustration, anxiety and even despair are all 
ones that reinforce vulnerability. Readers have 
all felt a loss of control at some point and so 
will deeply identify with the character’s range of 
feelings. 
Through the mistakes they make. 
Despite our best efforts, we all make mistakes. 
Not only do we hate it when one happens, we 
tend to beat ourselves up about it, growing 
frustrated and disappointed for not being 
smarter, stronger or better. Characters who 
make mistakes feel authentic, and it humanizes 
them to readers. Besides, mistakes create great 
plot complications & conflict! 
Through personal failures. 
Not succeeding at what one has set out to do 
is one of the most heartbreaking moments an 
individual can experience, and it is the same for 
our characters. A hero’s personal failure, 
especially one that has repercussions for 
others, is one way to break down those steel 
walls and show our hero as vulnerable and 
human. 
Through a death or loss. 
A deep, personal loss is never easy. Often a 
person only realizes what they had or what 
something meant when it’s gone. Again, this is 
a universal feeling, something all readers can 
identify with. Written well, seeing the hero 
experience loss will remind readers of their own 
past experiences. Death is final, but other 
losses can be potent as well. The loss of hope 
is particularly wounding. 
By having one’s role challenged. 
Whatever the character’s role is (be it a leader, 
a provider, a source of comfort , etc.) and 
having it challenged can be devastating. Roles 
are tied to one’s identity: the husband who 
loses his job may no longer be able to provide 
for his family. The leader who made a bad 
decision must witness the resulting lack of faith 
from his followers. The mother who fails to 
keep her child safe feels unsuited for 
motherhood. When a role is challenged in some 
way through choices or circumstances, it 
creates self-doubt, making the character feel 
vulnerable in a way readers identify with. 
By casting doubt on what one believes. 
Each person has set beliefs about the universe, 
how the world works, and the people in it, 
allowing them to understand their place in the 
big picture and instilling feelings of belonging. 
When knowledge surfaces that puts trusted 
beliefs into question, the character suffers 
disillusionment, a powerful feeling that can 
make them feel adrift in their own life. 
Disillusionments are an emotional blow and 
everyone has suffered one at some point. This 
can be a good way to trigger that feeling of 
shared experience of vulnerability between 
character and reader. 
By experiencing fear or worry for another. 
This ties into that loss of control I mentioned 
above, because one directly or indirectly has a 
lack of influence over circumstances affecting a 
loved one. Fear and worry can also create road 
blocks about how best to proceed. It’s one 
thing to take risks that only affect oneself, and 
another to take risks that will impact others. 
The paralysis a person feels over what decision 
to make when it impacts relationships is an 
experience readers understand. 
By having one’s secrets brought out in the 
open. 
Secrets are usually hidden for a reason and are 
often the source of guilt or shame. When one’s 
secrets are revealed, the character is stripped 
of their security, and they believe others will 
view them differently as a result. Readers can 
empathize with this raw feeling of being 
exposed. 
This article was courtesy angela aukerman 
 
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Writers tutorial entry; how to make your character more plausible

Encouraging an emotional bond between a reader and the protagonist is one of the most important jobs a writer has. We do this through empathy - a deep, meaningful connection that forms when we put th…

10 Dec 2013

Muse Guide

Writers tutorial entry; how to make your dialogue sparkle

Writers tutorial entry; how to make your dialogue sparkle

Writers tutorial entry; how to make your character more plausible

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